Reflections on a month of daily blogging

At first I had imagined doing a robust and deep diving end-of-month reflective post, but now that the moment has arrived I’m wanting something much more simple and short.

As a reminder or if you don’t know, for the month of August I committed to writing a blog post every day. It was directly inspired by the ‘garbage post challenge’ I did the entire month prior, where I posted every day and often multiple times a day to social media. The point of that ‘challenge’ was to get comfortable and have fun with social media, both for person and professional use. The July garbage post challenge went so well that I thought why not pivot blogging and do something similar for August.

So I did, and here we are. 🙂

I went from having never blogged (and wanting to a few years) to now having published 31 posts.
It’s been a good ride, albeit difficult at many points.

I made the daily commitment as a way to:

• practice getting uncomfortable (become comfortable with discomfort)

• break through perfectionism and procrastination

• have fun and share my thoughts

• become familiar with the process of writing, publishing, and sharing blog posts.

If those were goals, I’ve accomplished them all.

I’m not sure yet what’s next, but I’m pumping the brakes before jumping into another daily commitment. At the moment, I’m committed to daily meditation. I’m also a few weeks into my final academic year and therapy internship training.

With so much happening and more forthcoming, I’ll let these social media and blogging projects rest for now. Plus, it feels like a good idea to marinate and integrate in the afterglow for a while.

In the meantime, I’m curious to see if or when I feel inspired to write up a blog post or post to the socials. That will provide a fresh perspective on any grown, learning, and ‘gains’ from these projects.

Thanks for following along and taking an interest.
See you soon.

Is a problem a gift?

With every fall comes the rise.

It’s not often these days that I’m really knocked off kilter. Yesterday was one of those times though.

As unpleasant as such instances are, they always bring value. It’s like panning for gold—if we take the time and put in the effort, there’s insights and experiential learning to be gleaned, it just takes a persistent willingness to sift thru the mud.

It’s never fun being knocked off the horse but damn it makes me a better rider. Every time it happens I learn something; not just a mental concept but a direct experience that precedes and is bigger than concepts and words.

Respect the horse and welcome the opportunity to learn.

It reminds me of a quote I come back to from time to time:

Your biggest problem is you think you shouldn’t have them. Because problems are what make us grow. Problems are what sculpt our soul. Problems are what make us become more. ~Tony Robbins

Tony’s reframe is brilliant and it’s exactly what I’m getting at. Thank goodness for the experience I had yesterday. I’m still dancing with the problem to implement a solution, but today has been very different because of my mindset. It’s not a bypass; I still feel twangs of irritation, anxiety, and unrest. The difference is in deciding this situation IS FIGUREOUTABLE and that I’ll be better because of what’s happened instead of it never happening.

Of course I don’t want it to have happened, but now that it’s here I CHOOSE IT. Bring it on.

It’s like finding myself in a gym session or workout I didnt plan for and don’t like the timing of, but instead of fighting it I’m deciding to get a workout in. Okay, it’s here; may not be when I wanted but its good for me.

LFG.

Calamity with grace

Today I had to deal with a problem I didn’t directly create but I was responsible for.

Due to the negligence of one or more people, I didn’t get information I needed in time to make a few very important strategic decisions. I was given information I didn’t know existed and it was given too late, after I’d made decisions I couldn’t undo. The consequences of the situation are a critical problem.

So today I’ve been in urgent problem solving mode. Ugh, it hasn’t been fun. A solution is in process, which is good and helpful, but I’m emotionally exhausted.

Tomorrow is a fresh start.

Migrating to minimalist footwear

For a few years now I’ve had a growing curiosity about minimalist (aka barefoot or zero-drop) footwear.

If you’re not familiar with this stuff, here’s the basic idea:
these types of shoes attempt to provide a ‘barefoot’ or as close to barefoot experience under the premise that our feet function best when they’re allowed to go through their most natural function.

The goal is to allow the feet, and the entire body that’s stacked onto of them, to function as if shoes weren’t there WHILE still providing the shoe benefits of protecting our feet from harm and providing extra traction.

There’s numerous ways this type of shoe attempts to reach the goal. Here’s the most common: minimal shoe sole thickness so that we feel the ground variations under the shoe, no heel lift (i.e zero-drop), little to no rigidity so the shoe allows maximum foot flex, and a wide toe box so that the toes can naturally splay outward when the foot is squished by the weight of the body.

Earlier today I hiked a pretty intense 8.5 mile roundtrip hike with 2,500 feet of elevation change. My feet were sore AF by the end and are still tender many hours later. On both the ascent and descent I kept wondering about minimalist hiking boots and if they would be as good, better, or worse than my standard hiking boots.

You know me, I love experimentation and learning via direct experience. Or in other words, I love to fuck around and find out. :)

I’m researching minimalist hiking footwear and feel eager to give it a shot. Last year I already decided I’ll slowly transition my casual and racquetball footwear to minimalist models by ‘wearing out’ what I currently own and replacing them with something more like what I described above.

Over the years, I’ve run in Vibram fivefinger and love it; they’re my preferred running footwear. The minimalist sneakers and sandals I now own are some of the most comfortable shoes I own. Which is all to say, the odds are looking heavily in favor of the hiking boots and gym shoes being a great experience when I’m ready to invest in them.

We’ll see. So far so good. I’m very excited to continue transitioning to minimalist footwear. I encourage you to dive into google and look into it for yourself, and feel free send me any questions. I’d be happy to share whatever I can to be helpful.

Memories of Matthew, my first friend

On August 27th 2009, Matthew E. Wildes was killed in action by a roadside bomb while deployed in Afghanistan. He was my first friend and best friend.

Since then, I treat his birthday and death day as a time for contemplation, remembrance, and celebration of his life and our friendship. Growing up so close and at such a young age, the influence of our relationship runs deep. I wouldn’t be who I am today without him.

I don’t have much more in words right now. But this is what’s alive for me right now—Matt is on my mind and in my heart today.

Matt

Pursuing vs attracting: a paradox

I had a coaching client this week thats very focused on dating with lifelong companionship and marriage in mind.

By all accounts, they are doing the “right stuff.” Going on dates, meeting people through apps, connecting with people in person in the spaces around them. In their words, “I’ve definitely got options.” So why do these prospects keep fizzling out after a few dates or even a few months of being involved?

We got into an interesting discussion on mindset, and dove into various juicy topics such as expectation versus invitation, pursuing versus attracting, enjoying ‘what is’ versus being committed to the long-term.

The paradox is very interesting to me. In a spiritual sense, there is both a moving towards it and allowing it come.

How do we do both? How do we find it and allow it to find us?

This is certainly bigger than just the realm of relationships and partnership. This is about anything we desire in our lives. What is the right amount of effort in a context?

It’s such a puzzle to ponder. I love this stuff.

With this client, what we landed on this week was a focus on awareness, and on how to keep deeping it. They didn’t blame the universe or others or some external circumstance. They took full ownership of their results and asked what am I doing wrong, or what can I do differently?

I’m not some sage with all the right answers, and that’s what I told them. As far as I can tell they ARE doing all the right stuff. So I wonder about the difference between doing versus being. Refocusing on being is to refocus on awareness, presence, and mindset. My challenge and invitation to them was in journaling and meditation, two of the most powerful daily practices in cultivating awareness and clarifying our ways of being.

I don’t know if it’s the right thing, But then again I’m not concerned about being right. Coaching is a collaborative process, a co-creative process, and a co-discovering process. Who knows what the “problem” is. When in doubt about where to go or what to do, awareness seems like a pretty good homebase to come back to. I’ve always found it a fruitful focus with myself and my clients, specially when nothing else is clear.

In wrestling with paradoxes, like pursuing versus attracting, I haven’t found a better starting point than awareness.

Wild Sunflowers: enjoying the little things

Right now, right outside of my front door, there’s a bunch of wild sunflowers. I didn’t plant them or plan for them to be there. They just kinda’ popped up. I walk past them every day on the way out and back in.

Sunflowers hold a special meaning for me. I even have tattoo of one on my left leg. It represents my mother, Sherrie. Sunflowers are her favorite, and I grew up with a kitchen adorned in sunflower imagery. Porcelain stove covers, ever-lasting plastic sunflowers and green vinery atop wall-hung cabinets, decorative jars, fridge magnets, pictures, a painting, and on and on. Sunflowers were all over the kitchen and dining room. Even the linoleum flooring looked like sunflowers after a drink or two.

An additional significance emerge between me and sunflowers in 2018 when I moved from Louisiana to Colorado. I didn’t know this, but August is wild sunflower season in front range of Colorado. I arrived to find sunflowers all over the place, along roadsides and in many yards. Amazing! It’s sometime I had never experienced in Louisiana. And so sunflowers also came to represent the anniversary of my move to the mountains.

Four years later, I’m 31, on the final stretch of earning a Masters degree, living with a loving partner, and it feels like there’s still a whole lifetime ahead. Three decades have passed and there’s hopefully six or more to go. Life is good. I’m happy. There’s much good to come. I’m grateful for where I’m at and what all I’ve accomplished thus far.

As a final and most important note, I want to make special a nod to my mom. The sunflower queen and true southern woman full of heart and never shying away from hard work. Today, August 25th, is her birthday. And though we may be 1,300 miles apart, I’m with her and she is with me.

Much love and many thanks, mom. I appreciate you and all you do. I think about you every day when I walk out and see these sunflowers. They’re bursting with life and color, much as you burst with love and care. Happy birthday.

Love, Cody 🌻💛🙏💛🌻

Life Coaching: 6.5 years and 100 clients later

This week I began working with my 100th client. That’s a wild number. Triple digits! Even just a few years ago I had less than half of that and wouldn’t have expected to reach 100 this fast.

It’s not the number itself as so much as what it represents. For me it’s a professional milestone. There’s 100 people I’ve gotten to work with to directly support in making a positive change in their life.

I track the number of clients and number of hours in coaching for the sake of current and future credentialing with the International Coaching Federation. It’s a mostly clerical and passive task, but there’s neat side effect of getting know some of my ‘stats,’ as if this were a video game where I could pause and look at stats like ‘hours played.’ lol.

Life coaching is something love. It’s work that’s challenging and complex, and yet never feels like ‘work’ to me. I love helping people and taking about the most important and deep things in life. This is why I’m going into counseling and therapy too. In my eyes these are all a very direct way to help people. More so than a coach or counselor, I identify as a professional people-helper. It’s the essence what I do and aspire to do at the highest and most impactful level.

As a way to celebrate the milestone of reaching 100 clients, I’m offering a special discount to THE NEXT 3 private clients that sign up to work with me. How about a $100 credit or $100 off our first session? To be honest, I haven’t thought this through thoroughly, but I will honor this pledge and be true to my word. :)

This offer is first-come-first-serve, for both new and previous clients; not for current clients. Email, call, text, DM, or fill the form in my LinkTree to get started.

I always offer a free consultation to answer questions and explore what’s possible before we commit to working together. My private rate for life coaching is sliding scale, and I do offer discounts for various things like bipoc, LGBTQ+, veteran or student status, etc. Always feel free to inquire; it never hurts to ask. :)

Cheers to 100 people served and to the next 100 to come! I love this work!

🎉💛🙏💛🎉

Easy to satisfy, hard to impress: lessons from coffeeshop critique

A few weeks ago I started reviewing coffeeshops. It’s something I’ve wanted to do for years, just for fun.

I’ve now done a handful of reviews and am thinking about my experiences thus far. I do them foremost for fun, and secondly to challenge myself and grow.

There’s an edge I find through doing the reviews. In them I want to be honest and yet I don’t want to be mean. I want to speak my true experience and yet I don’t want to upset people. Thus my edge is lean into the discomfort and not downplay or soften my review.

Its been a particularly interesting experience to give a ‘bad’ or low scoring review. It’s more edgy for me. And I’ve learning something about myself through the low score reviews:

I’m easy to satisfy, and hard to impress.

I notice this with coffeeshops and coffee, but I’m noticing it other areas of my life. I’m typically quick to feel content or satisfied with things but its not so easy to impress or ‘wow’ me.

It’s neat what we can learn about ourselves through our work, hobbies, and doings. I didn’t expect to learn something new about myself through reviewing coffeeshops, and I’m not 100% sure on what to make of the new insight, but this sort of thing is an evolving process. I wonder were it will lead. :)

Gall's Law, start simple to build complexity

Gall’s Law is that functional complex systems are made of simple systems that worked.

This rings true for me, especially when looking at habits and effective habit-building.

My morning routine has complexity but it started with a simple single building block. Once the single habit was established, I was able to build additional habits that link with the first one. A couple of examples:

• Five minutes of morning meditation to start, then adding prayer or mantra repetition before it. Then eventually adding a bit of simple movement and stretching after meditation.

• I journal as part of my morning routine, so this week I’ve been experimenting with time-blocking/time-boxing during and after my journaling.

This reminds me of lego pieces. Starting with one, I can build on it with more, and then even more on top of that. The complexity works because its build on and emerges from the simplicity that came before it.

Interesting stuff. I wonder what I could reduce to more simplicity to apply Gall’s Law.